Lovingly compiled archive of short posts from Cohost
The posts you can see underneath have been taken from both our main account and our (rarely used, sometimes secret) personal side accounts. They’re not long enough to be proper essays, but we don’t want to lose them, so now their home is here.
i think if we wasted less time and energy on cringing at our past selves we would realize freedom is right within our reach
I can't tell you if I have much faith in humanity but I love it nonetheless. No amount of disappointment and loneliness will take that love away from me
Loneliness will make you think you're meaningless in the eyes of everyone else but people in general do tend to care, they're just oftentimes clueless and awkward about it
Idk humans are such imperfect creatures. We want help but don't know how to ask for it without the risk of it being misinterpreted. We want to help others but we don't know how to do it without the risk of it being misinterpreted. We misunderstand each other & refuse to communicate out of fear that what we already believe will turn out to be true (it most likely wouldn't, but if you don't ask you will never know) & the earth keeps turning. Whatever image I have in my mind of you is wrong and doesn't do you any justice. Whatever image you have of me has never existed & it never will. And still we're lonely.
#>🌿
hello have you ever seen an orchid mantis i really think you need to see her
techincally speaking i know we have a shared system page. subjectively speaking though i am too much of a special girl to post there (i'm highly territorial and it stinks of the others)
everything is unethical & the world should be razed to the ground
nobody saves us but us nobody saves us but us nobody saves us but us nobody saves us but us
we've been nameless for months now which is very funny in a way but also a bit frustrating lol
it's like. some ppl know us as deadname since you do what you gotta do to survive. other ppl know us as the name we picked when we thought we were a binary trans man before syscovery. online we use some random words and nicknames that vibe with us (which is cool). but an actual name that we'd all like to be called by our friends? nope. none. it's been so long since we decided we need a gender neutral name and we have not yet come up with any good ones. we're just nameless, drifting between our deadname and our dude name, both of which do not resonate with us at all anymore
at some point we had a poll on simply plural with like 4 potential gender neutral names but it ended up in a tie between two names, both of which were equally hated by the ppl who voted for the other option. then we just kind of gave up
I have to figure out what the hell my beef with the nonbinary label is all about and why it feels so restrictive to me despite literally not being restrictive at all just like. By definition. But that is an issue for another day I will now go snore mimimi and hope to dear god someone else wakes up in this body tomorrow
I'll be honest, sometimes it feels like the man/woman/nonbinary distinction is just another cage. It's all a cage
I can't even articulate my frustrations properly. I hate that nonbinary is seen as a "third gender" even among the community I don't want to be a secret third thing and I don't want to be a bit of a man and a woman all I want is to be allowed to exist as a genderless being in a way that only some fictional male characters are allowed to (and nobody irl is)
#I want none of it to matter I want my gender to be so fucking meaningless #I want to use whatever fucking pronouns are available and for people not to see me through the lens of those pronouns' gender regardless #& I'm so goddamn tired. So so tired
I guess I'm just agender and dysphoric about it. Moving on